Another day, another laugh....(part 3)

Capital of America
Teacher : What's the capital of America?

Students : Washigton D.C. M'am.

Teacher : What does D.C. stands for?

Students : DOT COM, M'am

Piss in the Ear

Little Peter went to his kindegarten teacher and said that he had found a frog.

"Is the frog dead or alive?" the teacher asked.
"it is dead." he said
the teacher askec how he knew.
Little peter said "i pissed in its ear."
"YOU WHAT?" the teacher freaked out.
little peter explained, " i went to its ear and said 'pssst' and it didnt move."


Counter clockwise

how do you explain counterclockwise to a child who grew up with a digital watches??"

Hello Darling

Susan got a job at a fast-food restaurant. On her 1st day, the MD happen to visit the restaurant. he called her aside and asked "you the new girl here?" What's your name?"

she said "Susan, sir"

The MD said "i dont call my staff by their first names. It breeds familiarity and a breakdown to my authority. I refer to my staff according to their last names."
so tell me your last names"

Susan smiled and said "it's Darling, im Susan Darling!"

Then the MD said, "Now SUSAN.....as i was saying....Come into my office!"

you should have been here

Angry boss : You should have been here at 8o'clock!
Late employee : why? what happened?

No Experience
Manager : for a man without experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary.
Applicant : Well, the work is much harder when you dont know what you are doing!

ASAP
The interviewer examined the job application, then turned to the prospective employee. "i see you put ASAP down for the date you are available to start meaning as soon as possible of course."
"However, i see you put AMAP on your expected salary, what does it mean?"
The applicant replied, "As Much As Possible!"

ghostwriter
A CEO, who was not well versed in english was scheduled to speak at an important lunch-time meeting. He ask his ghostwriter, to write him a punchy 20 minute speech.
When the CEO return after the event, he was furious. "WHAT'S THE IDEA OF GIVING ME A 1 HOUR LONG SPEECH?"he demanded to know to his writer.
The writer was baffled. "I wrote you a 20minute speech," he replied. "i also gave you the two extra copies you asked for!"